Who Took My Glass??

I guess lately I've kind of been more of a "glass half empty" kind of person. Although, I admit that now it seems as though I don't even have a glass to show for it. The past few weeks have been the biggest, most prolonged roller-coaster I think I have ever been on in my life...with no real end in sight. Until recently I have mostly felt sadness filling my every day, almost to the brim, but the past several days I have really been experiencing what it is like to Just Be ANGRY. When I was just experiencing sadness I was of course also feeling pain and fear and confusion...but now that I feel Anger...I also feel lost...and hopeless. I'm usually a very sweet, docile person unless properly provoked. Well this recent "trial" has provoked me quite properly indeed. As of late, I find myself just wanting to SCREAM!!! Or PUNCH something!!! ALL THE TIME!!!

It is very self destructive.

Trying to "count my blessings" only hurts more, because I see them in a far off horizon, yet I am so deeply and seemingly irrevocably aware of the fact that none of that seems to matter, and that far off horizon only holds a mirage. There are some things that I have been struggling with in excess since the "trial" first began, things that I will not divulge to such a large public at this time, perhaps at a later date, but they have been making my life seem like one big black hole with a neon sign above it that just says, "I don't know."

I want my glass back. At least then there is hope.

So Merry Christmas, And Happy New Year...

Christmas was really fun, we went down to Cedar to be with Jordan's family the weekend before (since he only got Christmas Day off) and it was busy yet relaxing, and loads of fun. My parents came to spend Christmas Eve and Christmas Day at our house since the only other part of my fam able to get together for Christmas lives just a few doors down. It was pretty low-key and a neat experience since it was my first Christmas with Jordan, and since it was the first time I ever hosted anything at my own place. Pretty cool indeed. I can see why moms are totally wiped out after the holidays though. :p

Well, HAPPY NEW YEAR! It's kind of odd that it's 2014...I remember when the year 2000 was a crazy thought. Jordan and I got to enjoy New Year's Eve (and Day) just with each other - both of us are sick (mostly him so far) and so are a lot of other people in my family. We enjoyed a night of food, movies, and lots of fun as we welcomed in the unscathed 2014. Today we have just been pretty lazy, sleeping a lot and watching various things on Netflix (and I've been trying to put together a presentation for work...trying being the key word). Really there's not a lot to tell at the moment, but I hope that this year will bring many good tidings to all.